


Big Hands

by Zabeta



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And a mom?, And what if Rey's a normal human size?, Consensual Sex, Everything else here is just smut, F/M, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, She had kids with someone else but she's divorced now, What if Ben Solo's dick weren't THAT big?, While we're at it what if she's in her 30s?, very vanilla smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:14:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23406622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabeta/pseuds/Zabeta
Summary: Tags pretty much say it all. What if Ben Solo were just a charming, normally endowed guy who happened to have big hands, and Rey was a slightly insecure, very thirsty divorcée with a vivid imagination?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 30
Kudos: 64





	Big Hands

He used his hands as he talked, and she couldn’t stop looking at them. They were elegantly angular, masculine and muscular and very, very large. He and Finn were trading stories and she zoned out thinking about the things his hands made her think. 

Finn had just introduced them and she had already forgotten his name. She racked her brain for it...Ben! That was it. Big-handed Ben.

She wanted to find out  _ how big _ they were, compared to her own hand, compared to her neck, compared to her cunt. She thought his fingers might be as long as her best g-spot stimulating vibrator. Maybe. Only one way to find out. She licked her lips and realized both men were looking at her expectantly.

“Sorry?”

Finn laughed, “Where’d you go?”

She smiled back, “Sorry...sorry! I totally zoned out. Not sleeping a lot lately. Ugh. What did I miss?”

She could see that the man beside her wasn’t buying her story. She caught him smirking, just for her, before she turned to do her best impression of listening to Finn. She shifted her weight and leaned a good six inches into his space, all of her attention on his reaction. He didn’t move away. Well wasn’t that interesting? He was, radiating heat she could feel through her thin blouse. She shivered.

Finn circled back to the subject she had hoped to skim over. “So the twins are keeping you guys up?”

Rey died a little inside but tried to act cool. “Yeah, midnight party phase or something. And mom’s been sick, so it’s just been me on duty with them.”

“Maz has been sick?” Rey’s adoptive mom was also one of Finn’s favorite people, and he looked genuinely worried. Rey rushed to reassure him, forgetting her other audience for a moment.

“She’s fine, just didn’t want her on the night shift. She’s with them tonight. And I am here, NOT thinking about them.” She gave Finn a smile as she deliberately took a large swig of her wine.

Finn wandered off after another minute, and Rey turned her full attention to Ben, whose first words were, “Twins, huh?”

She sighed internally. So much for flirting. “Yep. Two year olds.”

“But no…?” he raised one finger from his glass and pointed at her bare ring finger.

“Nope.” She raised her chin, ready to counter any of the three reactions she was likely to hear next: poorly disguised judgement, pity, and/or embarrassed silence. 

He smiled instead, “Shit. My mom is a twin. Let’s get you another drink.” 

Rey still had a surprised laugh on her lips when he led her back to the drinks table, one broad hand low on her back, light and chivalrous and easy to escape if she wanted to. 

Her glass refilled, he found them a quieter corner and found more to talk about, none of it having to do with parents or children. He listened and asked questions. He had interesting opinions, which he explained only when she seemed interested, using his hands again for punctuation. Was he using them more now? She caught herself staring at them again, and when she looked up she shivered at the look in his eyes. Pure sin. 

Someone else Ben knew came over and Rey realized she really needed to pee. She was halfway to the bathroom when reality began to creep back in, and she took a hard look at herself in teh bathroom mirror. What the hell was she thinking? She might remember how to flirt, but the body under her clothes belonged to an exhausted, nearly sedentary, 30-something single mother of twins. No one wanted to see that.

On the other hand, she was really, really hungry for a good fuck, and those hands...and the dick that must go with them. She felt her cunt liquefy a little at the thought. Nothing had been the same down there since the twins, but she thought a really good-size cock might be part of the cure. She swiped at the mascara that had drifted down to darken already dark circles beneath her eyes and applied a touch more lipstick.

“Why the hell not?” she asked her reflection.

\--------

_ He was so fucking hot. _

She couldn’t think a lot, but that one thought kept coming back in the tiny lulls between the storms of pleasure he whipped up with his mouth and his hands. The breadth of his chest, the hard muscle of his arms, the way he curled over and around her made her feel tiny next to him, though she was objectively, decidedly not. 

He had her pinned to the wall in a darkened corner of the apartment building they had just left. She wanted to grind up against him, but he wouldn’t let her, angling his hips away from hers when she tried. “Not yet, Sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear. She could feel him smile when she shivered and pressed herself closer to his chest. “Patience is a virtue.”

“What makes you think I’m virtuous, though?” she huffed, unable to resist the bait though there was a frustrated edge to her joking now.

He laughed at that and licked a hot stripe up the side of her neck before blowing on the spot so she shivered again and pulled back, tucking her head to hide from him. He caged her in with his hands on either side of her shoulders and nuzzled at her jaw until she looked up again.

There was something in his expression that scared her, something a little serious, a little vulnerable, that cut through the playful lust.

“I’d really like to do this in a bed. Would that be…?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?” he repeated. The crinkles at the corners of his smiling eyes chased away the serious thing they had been doing the moment before.

“Yes, but can we go to yours? The twins…” God, why had she said that? She waited a million years in the millisecond it took him to respond.

“Of course.” His smile turned wicked again, “I’m really close. C’mon.”

They walked the three blocks to his house. He pulled her in against his side and she threw her arm around his waist, and they laughed as they adjusted their strides to stay together. They didn’t talk at all, though they kept looking at each other, and she felt buzzed and giddy and impulsive and gorgeous and free in a way she thought she’d grown out of.

Inside his door, he slid warm hands into her open coat to push it off. “Want a drink?” he asked softly. She went still, a little scared suddenly. He slowly dipped his head down to kiss her and she closed her eyes, then opened them again when his lips didn’t reach hers as expected. He was hovering two inches from her face, smiling. The crinkles were back. 

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Her reply floated out on a nervous exhale, and she took one more deep breath before watching the sooty fringe of his eyelashes drop as he closed the remaining distance between them.

The kiss started slow and sweet, gentle. They each left room for the other to pull away; instead, they drifted closer, a hairsbreadth at a time, until they were pressed together again. Rey was pushed up on her toes, using his shoulders for purchase as she fought to get closer to his mouth.

“C’mere,” he urged, moving his grip down her backside so that he could lift her comfortably. She helped, jumping up a few inches to settle firmly into his hands and then wrapping her legs around his hips.

“Fuck. You are so fucking strong. But you’re going to hurt your back...couch?” she nodded toward the living room.

“Bed?” he countered.

She leaned in to mouth at his throat, “Bed.”

\-----

It was while they were making out on his bed, slowly pulling off each piece of clothing, covering each newly revealed patch of bare skin with kisses, grinding and whispering in the dim light filtering in from the hall, that Rey began to suspect that her daydreams might have been...inflated. He  _ seemed _ turned on, the noises he made, the hitching of his breath when she flicked at his nipple with her tongue. But there was nothing out-of-the-ordinary going on beneath the fly of his jeans. It appeared Ben Solo was packing a nice tame milk snake rather than the anaconda of her dreams.

Her curiosity got the better of her, so she slid her hand down to explore and heard his breath hitch again. She knew she was touching something sensitive, and it was there -- she felt it -- but it was just...so much smaller than she had expected. She slowed her hand and hid her face in his neck, kissing him there while her imagination caught up with reality.

The thick cock she’d gotten herself all worked up over had just vanished, and she actually felt like she might cry. Horror at her ridiculousness followed right behind her disappointment, and she felt herself retreat a bit into the place where she could make sure she didn’t ruin his evening by being disappointed, even if protecting his feelings meant not being allowed to have her own. She fucking hated that place. She had gotten divorced because she was sick of that place, even knowing that she was the only person who could keep herself out of it.

There was one tried-and-true way to extricate herself from the situation, if not from the prison of anticipated disappointment and self-awareness in her head. A quick blow-job would usually speed things along, so she slid down his body to unbutton his jeans and tugged at them, kissing along the warm skin there, licking and sucking as she trailed lower.

He wove his fingers into his hair and tugged gently with one hand, his other clenched in the sheets beside him. His breath came in short bursts until Rey uncovered his cock with a final careful tug and put her mouth on him. She was only kissing the underside gently, but he let out a shout that startled her and made her pull back to make sure he was ok.

“Oh my god, Rey. Your mouth. Please, don’t stop.” His eyes were shut tight as he begged, and Rey felt a little spark of something hopeful, something like curiosity. She wanted to know what he might do when she really got to work, so she kissed him more fervidly, adding her tongue and sucking along the shaft. He was hard as iron, leaking a tiny bead of clear liquid that grew as she squeezed him gently and looked more closely. 

It was not the cock of her dreams, but she had to admit that it was beautiful, with an elegant upward curve that reminded her of a glass dildo she’d seen in a catalog somewhere.It was the perfect size for her mouth. Her hand wrapped neatly around the base where she squeezed him, leaving another four inches bared to her tongue. 

She began to lick him with the flat of her tongue and he moaned again, quieter this time, but still a little frantic. She pulled his cock down toward her and put just the rounded tip in her mouth, wrapping her lips around the ridge and sucking.

HIs hips jolted up off the bed. “Fuck! Fucking fuck…” She felt herself getting wetter as she listened to him come undone and inhaled the delicious musky scent that got stronger as she slid further down his shaft. She was looking forward to his reaction when she got him all the way into the back of her throat, when he pushed and pulled at her shoulders to move away. 

“Rey, please, you seriously need to stop. Oh my...fuck. Please?”

“Are you ok? I’m sorry, I should have asked...God, I’m so sorry!” She was horrified, realizing that she had never even asked if that was something he liked.

“What? No! I just don’t want to come yet, and you’re going to push me over the edge in about two seconds if you keep that up. Fuck. It just, you know, kind of hurts, edging yourself like that.” 

“It’s ok! I don’t mind if you come. This is really hot.” Rey protested, realizing that it really was. She still would have liked more for herself, but making this man come might be a peak sexual experience all by itself.

“No, no, no. I mean, you know, at my age I’m kind of one-and-done?” he explained, the words spilling out in a rush. “And you’re...I mean...you are so goddamn gorgeous and your body...I’ve been imagining what you look like when you come, like, all night.”

“Oh, well, that’s not always…” she trailed off.

“Always...?” he prompted.

“...possible. Doesn’t always happen.”

“Hmm, then I think you’re doing it wrong?” he laughed, rising onto his knees to come face to face with her again. “Have you been doing it wrong all this time?” She turned her head away and he pulled her back, dipping his head for a hungry kiss that  _ did _ things to her. She longed to respond to him as she had earlier. If only she could  _ let go _ .

“Will you let me troubleshoot?” he spoke against the curl of her ear, popping the T. “Maybe a new perspective is all you need? Say, from down here.” He pushed her onto her back with his lips on her breast, and sucked and licked her with a hot, warm tongue. She froze for just a moment, which was all it took for his onslaught to blast away the weirdness of letting someone touch her breasts for fun. His wide, hot mouth covered half her breast, teasing and twirling and sucking marks into the sensitive skin on the curve where it met her torso. The feeling shot straight to her cunt and she let herself moan with the shocking pleasure of it.

“That’s my girl,” he said, moving to her other breast. “Trusting me. I’ll take care of you.” He held onto her arms as he made her nerves sing again, restricting her writhing just a bit, just enough to make her feel contained, safe. He felt her flex against him and held on tighter, “I love these muscles. Wanna fight you sometime just to feel them all.”

“Later,” he added, moving lower. “Off now,” he said, hooking his fingers in the waistband of her panties and sliding them down and away. He slid one hand back up her leg, reaching all the way to the apex of her thighs while he slowly kissed his way up. He pushed her legs apart as he moved, his fingers gently delving into her sex, searching out the moisture there.

Head between her legs now he placed a gentle kiss on the hood of her clit and looked up at her, over the low round of her belly. “May I?”

Rey had not felt so frightened and turned on at once since she lost her virginity. Something about this man pulled her right out of her head -- what he made her feel, but also what he let her see. It felt like she had never done anything like this before. 

She whispered back, “Please?” and watched him dip his head. She watched his silky black waves moving below her for a moment before she couldn’t hang on any longer and let her head drop with a long sighing moan as he dove into her cunt. 

“Fuck. I  _ have _ been doing it wrong.”

She felt his shoulders shake in laughter but he kept his lips and tongue on her. He licked and sucked, never stopping in one place or sticking to one technique for long. It was maddening, but it left her no time to drift back into her own head. After a few moments, he began to focus, dipping his tongue into her cunt and licking up to push at her clit. Her breath caught, and she held still for a moment before opening her legs wider for him, trying to get out of his way. He shifted a bit and she whined, but he was only bringing his hand up to push into her hot, wet center, leaving his tongue to focus on shorter strokes across her swollen bundle of nerves. He shifted again, plunging two fingers in and sucking, and Rey melted a little more, feeling the stretch begin to gather up the ephemeral little strands of pleasure into something more solid and real. It was like he could feel it, too. He drew more and more from her, never dropping a strand or losing a beat. She sighed a languid, “Oh, yeah,” and he hummed, the approval so clear that she almost came just from the joy of feeling her body work with his on that level beyond words.

When it arrived a moment later she practically sang her climax, “Oh, my God! Ben.” Coming down again, she panted as he slowly drew his fingers out, continuing to suckle gently at her clit until she pulled him away. 

“Up. Up here. C’mere,” she urged, hauling him up too fast so that he nearly fell beside her, laughing. She tucked herself into his body and squeezed her legs together, wanting to hold the feeling to herself for as long as she could. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, until she stretched her legs again and rubbed herself against him like a cat.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“What?”

“You didn’t get to see me.”

“Not your face, maybe, but it was still a great show. And maybe I can convince you to let me try again with a better angle.” He pushed her onto her back, grinding his hard cock against her legs.

“I might let you convince me,” she purred, pulling him on top of her. She could feel his smooth, hard cock against her belly, and she pushed on his shoulders to encourage him down where she wanted him. 

She pressed her lips together as she thought of something, and said, “Umm, condom?” just as he said, “Shit, condom.” He stayed as close as he could while reached out to pull the nightstand drawer open and rummaged around. Rey kept herself busy kissing and licking any skin within reach of her mouth. She hummed a bit, aware of how happy she was for a moment before he pushed himself up onto his knees to roll the latex over his shaft.

She looked up at him, the shape of his chest, the long lines of his abs, the breadth of his thighs that were somehow wider than his hips. “You are so goddamn gorgeous,” she breathed. She wanted to lick all of him, and she wanted that cock inside her yesterday, so she whimpered and lifted her hips.

“You want this?” he stroked himself.

She bit her lip and nodded.

“Where do you want it?”

She pulled her feet up, bending her knees to show him exactly where. “Please. Now!” she begged.

He leaned forward, gripping her knees, then leaning over her to slide in. He closed his eyes and held still for a moment, and Rey took in the beauty of his face, the dark moles scattered across pale skin, his long nose, the swollen, well-used lips. She sighed, and he opened his eyes again. 

“Worth the wait?” she asked.

“Fuck, yeah. Having you under me right now?’

He moved in and out slowly, carefully, dragging his body just a bit to catch her clit. She wasn’t thinking about how big he was, or what she looked like to him, or even whether she could come like that. She was still looking at his face, at the lines beside his eyes that showed how often he had smiled in his life. She was smelling his sweat, clean and sharp, and her own sex smeared across his face. Then he changed the angle, pushing up her knees to get even deeper inside, and she wasn’t thinking at all, just feeling him move inside her and against her. 

He huffed words into her ear, more sensation than sound. “Your body, Rey. So good. Feels so good. Just works. OUr bodies...just work. Fucking hell.”

He was right where she needed him, and even when he pulled back to push one of her legs up to his shoulder. he just  _ kept _ being there, pushing her higher and stringing her tighter and, finally, making her snap and plunge over the edge. By the time all of her senses had returned, he had come, too. He gave his hips a few last shallow jerks as he bit and sucked at her calf, then pulled out and collapsed on his side next to her. He was breathing hard, and the puffs of air warmed her neck.

She turned her head to look at him, a relaxed smile on her face. She felt ridiculously pleased with herself. “Hi.”

He opened one eye and smiled back, pulling her into him. He kissed her shoulder languidly and asked with a smile, “So that wasn’t too disappointing?”

“What?” she laughed, not sure what he was talking about.

“I saw you, you know. Staring at my hands. Practically drooling over them. I could see you thinking about how big my equipment would be...admit it.”

She thought about protesting for a heartbeat, but he had her dead to rights. And he seemed...amused? “Fuck...so embarrasing,” she confessed, turning her body away from his. He just pulled her in tighter, so she felt the sticky evidence of what they’d just done pressed against her ass.

“Honestly? That was when I knew I had to see you come...that look in your eyes was...mmph....”

“I’m so sorry, Ben.”

“Are you? I’m not.” He rolled onto his back to slide off the condom, then got up to toss it into the trash before turning back. “I mean, whatever got you here is fine by me,” he smirked.

“Besides,” he climbed back onto the bed and crawled over her, caging her in between his arms and thighs, “size isn’t everything.” He bent down to kiss her again, and she felt something brush her leg, something a little sticky and warm. Something that was getting harder, maybe even insistent, as he deepened the kiss. “What do you know about refractory periods?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic inspired by Gillian Anderson, whose joke at the BAFTA's really pissed me off, because WHOSE BUSINESS IS IT HOW BIG THAT MAN'S DICK IS? And worse, WHAT IF IT REALLY ISN'T? I've tried to let it go, but EVERY time I read something where Ben Solo is remarkably well endowed it all comes back...and honestly, what the hell am I doing thinking about the exact dimensions of a fictional character's tackle in this kind of detail? Hoping this works it out of my system (right..wish me luck).
> 
> This ridiculousness facilitated by Miss_Coppelia, who kindly volunteered to read the first draft, and Flypaper_Brain, who even more kindly agreed to stay up late to read the second one. If you're asking why this trash was worth two drafts and two great betas, join the club. It went through a third draft after, too, so don't blame either one of them if you don't like the final results.


End file.
